You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero

I had high hopes for this book when I spotted it at Target a few weeks ago.  My hopes were so high that I went home, downloaded it on my Kindle and started reading it right away, despite the fact that I was supposed to only be reading books I already owned throughout the month of August.  You see, I struggle with self-confidence.  I'm plagued with a natural shyness that causes me to doubt my abilities. I know in my head that I do awesome work, but often, I'm not assertive enough to let people know about it. When I saw this self-help guide, I thought that maybe there would be some useful advice in it on learning how to come out of my shell and take ownership of my abilities. Disappointingly though, this book ended up being a little too weird for me.

First, the good. You Are a Badass contains some useful food for thought about pursuing your dreams and living without fear. I especially liked the chapters about getting rid of the drama of "feeling overwhelmed" and using people who annoy you as mirrors for your own negative qualities. There were definitely some interesting ideas to think about in most of the chapters. Sincero spends a lot of the book advocating for positive thinking and self-love, which I do agree is a beneficial way of thinking about yourself.

However, her advice on becoming a badass frequently veered away from practical steps and sped head-on into the spiritual realm.  This is where Sincero completely lost me. She asserts within the first few chapters that to benefit from her advice, you must believe in some sort of higher power, whether it be God, the Universe, Karma, etc., and spends most of the book talking about raising your energy to the proper frequency so that the Universe can bring you success. This kind of thinking is probably perfect for a lot of people, but I am not spiritual in the slightest. I respond to lists, plans, research, and strategy.  I do not believe that there is a higher power out there that wants to give me money if only I surrendered myself to believing in it. As such, this was all a little too hippy-dippy for me. But hey, more power to people who can use this way of thinking to improve their lives!

Another problem for me was informal writing style. Sincero uses a conversational tone, swears a whole lot, and incorporates a lot of slang into her chapters. I don't mind swearing or writing in a way that is accessible to people, but for me, her wording felt like she was trying too hard. For example, when she claims her strategies are, "freaky- deaky. And super easy. It’s like having a craft day with God," I was rolling my eyes. It closed me off from listening to her advice, to an extent. I'm sure a lot of readers found her writing to be hilarious and motivating, it just didn't strike me that way.

Sincero is a spectacularly successful person.  She's done very well for herself in many different areas of her life, as she describes throughout this book. She credits this with believing in the power of the universe, but I think that it's more from a combination of natural charisma, good luck, and hard work. No one makes millions simply because they sit back and believe that money will come to them, but Sincero glosses over the practical aspects of her success in favor of positive thinking exercises.  I do believe that positive thinking is important, but what about the part where you actually had to go out and do stuff? I'd have liked to hear more about that.

At times, Sincero also shows a startling lack of sympathy for people who are struggling in life, calling them "wusses" and "weenies." I was very troubled by her thoughts on people struggling with depression.  She writes:

Let’s say, for example, that your story is that you’re depressed. Chances are pretty good that even though it feels awful, when you feel awful you don’t have to work hard or do the laundry or go to the gym. It also feels very familiar and cozy and comfortable. It gets you attention. People come in and check on you and sometimes bring food. It gives you something to talk about. It allows you to not try too hard or move forward and face possible failure. It lets you drink beer for breakfast.

I don't think this is how depression works. To say that people who are depressed are seeking attention and subconsciously trying to get out of doing chores is insulting. Positive thinking and "trying harder" don't always fix serious emotional issues, and it's harmful to assert otherwise. This irked me. 

So, a lack of specific advice, a heavy reliance on spirituality and an overuse of an annoying writing style meant that I didn't get too much out of this book.  There were definitely some useful nuggets of information here, but overall, this book wasn't a game-changer for me. I much preferred the advice and style of Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, which I just finished reading prior to this one.  I suppose that's part of the task of finding self-improvement books that are useful to you - finding an author that resonates with you personally. Sincero just didn't do that for me.