Pointe by Brandy Colbert

*Minor spoilers in this review*

I picked up Pointe by Brandy Colbert on a whim a year or so ago based on some positive Amazon recommendations. The description on the back made it sound like a suspenseful and scandalous story involving ballerinas, so right away, I was intrigued. Like a lot of people, I nurse a fascination for dancers, especially ballerinas with their fluffy tutus and impossible grace. A story set in that world sounded good to me. Plus, the novel was the recipient of a handful of young adult fiction awards, so I figured that I could stick it into my classroom library once I was finished.

After reading it, I have to say that I am surprised. Pointe ended up being way more serious and complex than I was imagining it would be. This is not a spicy ballerina story - it touches on topics ranging from teen drug/alcohol use, to PTSD, to eating disorders, to rape. I found myself unprepared for the gritty realism of the story, but ended up enjoying the journey and appreciating Pointe's overall message.

The plot concerns a high school student named Theo who has big dreams of becoming a professional ballet dancer. She has the talent, drive, and support to achieve this goal, but some tragic events from her past are threatening her emotional well being. These events are revealed slowly throughout the first part of the novel and include her heartache over a breakup with a boyfriend that was too old for her, the abduction of a childhood friend of hers four years ago, and an eating disorder she has recently gotten back under control. In spite of these difficulties, she is making her way through her junior year of high school and gearing up for some important tryouts in her ballet program. Things aren't necessarily perfect for her, but they are okay.

Her progress, however, is completely disrupted when something incredible happens. Donovan, her childhood friend that was abducted years ago, is found. The man he was found with is arrested, and Theo is stunned to discover that she knows him. All of a sudden, she has choices to make. Sharing what she knows about Donovan's abductor will irrevocably change her life and could potentially put the future she's worked so hard for in the ballet world at risk. She isn't even sure if it would be right to tell - Donovan refuses to speak to anyone about what happened and Theo half-thinks that maybe he ran away willingly with this man. If he wanted to go, should she risk spoiling her life by telling what she knows?

As the trial for the abductor approaches, Theo is plagued with indecision. She will have to testify no matter what because she was the last one to see Donovan before he disappeared four years ago, but she has no idea what to say on the stand. Her stress throws her into a spiral of poor decision-making involving drug use, falling for an unavailable boy, and a return to her former eating disorder.
She has the weight on the world on her shoulders, her pain is palpable, and she must find a way to move forward in the face of some truly difficult obstacles.

Pointe was quite good, but it is not for the faint of heart. It's raw and gritty. Theo engages in casual drug use, swears like a typical teenager, and has sex. I was surprised at how graphic some of the story was. This is definitely an older teen book (sadly, I definitely can't put it in my 8th grade classroom library). However, the inclusion of these elements, while sometimes jarring, definitely felt genuine and helped develop Theo's character. Theo is a tough character to like. She makes terrible decisions throughout the story - the kind of decisions that make you want to shake her by the shoulders and ask her what she is thinking. At the same time, you feel bad for her and understand that she acts this way because of the intense pain she has buried inside of her. 

The ending of the novel is where Pointe really shines. Throughout my reading, I was focused a little bit more on the concrete elements of the abduction plot - I wanted to know specifics. I wanted to see Donovan explain what happened. Colbert ends up telling the story differently - Theo is the one who must decide how much to say, because Donovan can't. His PTSD over the situation has rendered him unable to communicate what happened. I was disappointed with this narrative choice at first. I was hoping for a tearful and happy reunion between the pair, complete with a discussion of what Donovan went through. I realize now that having a scene like that would not be realistic. Events this tragic and messy don't have neat conclusions. They explode people's lives. Theo, as the less damaged of the two, ends up being on her own in the wake of the tragedy, which places the focus solely on her inner strength. The sacrifices she makes at the end of the novel to heal Donovan and herself are beautiful, and the strongest part of the story.

Pointe was not exactly what I thought it would be, but in the best ways possible. It's a book that I would encourage older teens to pick up, especially girls. So many of us struggle with confidence and feelings of self doubt. Theo, while not a textbook heroine, is an example of how to dig deep and do what's best for yourself and others. This ended up being a surprisingly good read. 

Challenge Tally
TBR Challenge (previously owned): 51/60

Total Books Read in 2017: 65